Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy

Scary Close Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy New York Times bestselling memoirist Donald Miller takes readers on his year long journey to learn to abandon performance based relationships and find real intimacy After decades of failed relationshi

  • Title: Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy
  • Author: Donald Miller
  • ISBN: 9781501222320
  • Page: 408
  • Format: Audio CD
  • New York Times bestselling memoirist Donald Miller takes readers on his year long journey to learn to abandon performance based relationships and find real intimacy.After decades of failed relationships and painful drama, Donald Miller decided he d had enough Impressing people wasn t helping him connect with anyone He d built a life of public isolation, yet he dreamed ofNew York Times bestselling memoirist Donald Miller takes readers on his year long journey to learn to abandon performance based relationships and find real intimacy.After decades of failed relationships and painful drama, Donald Miller decided he d had enough Impressing people wasn t helping him connect with anyone He d built a life of public isolation, yet he dreamed of meaningful relationships So at forty years old he made a scary decision to be himself no matter what it cost.Scary Close is an audiobook about the risk involved in choosing to impress fewer people and connect with , about the freedom that comes when we stop acting and start loving It is a story about knocking down old walls to create a healthy mind, a strong family, and a satisfying career And it all feels like a conversation with the best kind of friend smart, funny, true, important.Scary Close is Donald Miller at his best.

    524 Comment

    • Leah says:

      Sorry Donald Miller. I'm giving this 3 stars. Don't get me wrong. It's vulnerable and honest. And on the other hand it's totally one note. Besty saved you. We get it. But chapters and chapters about one person wore me out. If you'd had more stories about other people who you shared intimacy with it would have meant more for me. AlsoI adore this author buthe was a little to "Guys are guys and Girls are girls" for me. Yawn.

    • David Steele says:

      I admire Donald Miller. I admire his courage. I admire his tenacity. And I admire his ability to tell a story. Make no mistake - this guy can write!Admiring Don Miller does not mean I agree with everything he believes. There's a good deal I disagree with. Yet I appreciate his gifts and insight. For me, reviewing a Don Miller book is like walking a tight rope. On one hand, I have conservative friends who question why I even read the guy. But Miller fans label my critique as "narrow" or "too evang [...]

    • Steve Husmann says:

      I devoured this book, as I always do with Don's writing. I feel ok calling him that because his books feel moe like a conversation with a friend than a traditional book. While A Million Miles will probably always be my favorite of his books, this one hits a little more close to home. He details how his intimacy problems kept him from getting married until he was 42. As a 30 year old who hasn't dated much, I see a lot of the same trends in my own life. You get to a point where it's just more comf [...]

    • Kelsy says:

      Growing up, I loved Donald Miller's books. "Blue Like Jazz" changed my life in several ways, as well as "Searching for God Knows What." I've always been a big fan (I even got to meet Don!)However, this book disappointed me. Maybe because I'm older or maybe because the book was just "meh" in general, but the magic was gone. This was really just one big long series of name dropping anecdotes under the guise of being a memoir. I expected more of a "self-help" kind of thing--something more wise and [...]

    • David says:

      As a believer and advocate of therapy, it THRILLS me to see an influential Christian leader and thinker embrace therapy. Miller’s book is an honest and vulnerable portrayal of his emotional hang ups, how it led to his toxic treatment of women and relationships, and how he overcame his deepest shame and insecurities. The book is written in a confessional style, and I appreciated Miller’s honesty and willing to be transparent. Two minor quibbles. First, Miller’s portrays his wife Betsy as so [...]

    • Annie Rim says:

      Scary Close is a fast, easy read. Even while battling a cold and with an active child, I managed to read it in a couple of days. While I don't think the speed at which I read a book is telling of its quality, I will say Miller's style is approachable and engaging. His stories follow a definite theme, but also stand alone, which makes the book easy to pick up.This is the third book by Miller that I've read and each time I finish, I feel slightly disappointed. Yes, a good story has been told and I [...]

    • Maya says:

      Don's journey into marriage, with all the insights of his cultivated community of wisdom, reads like a collection of blog posts. Gone are the days of, "Blue Like Jazz" and, "Searching for God Knows What." Point taken, in so far as, if you are searching to be completed by someone (or some book, as it were), your premise guarantees disappointment. Nevertheless, this book felt like a really well-crafted hook to bring more people into the machine, and sell them online courses and seminars. I get it, [...]

    • Lucille Zimmerman says:

      Picked it up last night. Almost finished it today. I've read all his books. This is his best yet. Donald is an incredible storyteller. His writing is simple and soft, and goes down easy. Yet the truth of what he is saying is what psychogists try to teach their clients for years during therapy. Don't wonder if you should get this book, just go do it.

    • Charles Dean says:

      Just "binge read" this in one sitting. Loved it. It will be high on my list of books to recommend to couples.

    • Emily says:

      This book had a lot of "Oh, that's how I am" moments, which I love. I thought it focused a lot on how we have the power to change how we act in relationships, choosing to be open and intimate, which I think is true. But I think it's also important to remember that God is a big factor in that area. He shows us different ways of thinking and allows different circumstances into our lives for reasons that are sometimes apparent to us and sometimes aren't. However, this was some kind of power in this [...]

    • Beth-Anne says:

      From the publisher:After decades of failed relationships and painful drama, Donald Miller decided he’d had enough. Impressing people wasn’t helping him connect with anyone. He’d built a life of public isolation, yet he dreamed of meaningful relationships. So at forty years old he made a scary decision: to be himself no matter what it cost.From the author of Blue Like Jazz comes a book about the risk involved in choosing to impress fewer people and connect with more, about the freedom that [...]

    • Gabriela says:

      There were a lot of good ideas in the book but they were eclipsed by the casual sexism

    • Zachary Foster says:

      So let me start off with a clarifier: I am not a big Donald Miller fan. I feel like his books are too light-weight, too airy, have no spiritual depth. I feel like after reading them I know more about Donald, but honestly have not learned much more than that. Which is fine if he is writing biography, but when his purpose is to write more than that, there is a disconnect somewhere.A second clarifier for this book would be that I don't really feel like it applies to me. I'm not trying to sound cock [...]

    • Nick Davies says:

      At the core of this book is an important message, or a series of important and incisive points which almost coalesce into an important message, but for me this was obscured, chipped away at, and blunted by a number of aspects relating to the author and the way he was trying to put across his personal insight.I picked up the book expecting a more general examination of men's psychology and sociology, and a discussion on the barriers to finding intimacy and contentment in relationships. The first [...]

    • Barbara says:

      What’s revolutionary about Don’s approach is not that he gives new information or achieves an unmatched level of brilliancy in his writing, rather, it’s that he admits to every human weakness he speaks about. I would say Don is unmatched in his painful honesty. But it’s this very honesty that makes his book impactful. Because the truth is, we are just like Don. There will not be a single moment when you do not nod your head or cringe at one of Don’s infamous personal confessions and sa [...]

    • TonyB says:

      I read the first Chapter and was hooked into thinking this is going to be a great piece of work. I looked excitedly at the table of contents and saw that it was a short book and would be a relatively quick read. So I game planned a savoring-type strategy. I would read only a little a day in order to make this wonderful topic last and treat it like a little treasure. The further I got into the book the more I realized this was far from the five star impression I originally had. I took a while to [...]

    • Brian Eshleman says:

      Donald Miller does it again. He frets that the maturation in his life has brought him to spend less time alone, and this may account for the shorter book as he has broadened his world to include a wife and a company. But, in which by this experience, he says more by saying less.he is a little more serious, a little more sober. He doesn't go as far afield for his illustrations, choosing instead unknown flinching look at himself whether or not this impresses the reader – or the writer. But becau [...]

    • Chantel says:

      I wish I could recommend this book. I liked Blue Like Jazz, even loved A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. While I appreciated Miller's introspective perspective on intimacy, I can only describe this book as "icky." The name dropping was a major turnoff, and Miller himself comes across as borderline narcissistic. A better read on the subject of intimacy would be Andy Stanley's New Rules of Love, Sex, and Dating.

    • Josh Solar says:

      easily my favorite Donald Miller book. Scary Close seemed to be filled with so much potent wisdom and a heck of a lot less rambling that exists in most of his books. The chapter on parenting is worth the price alone. Such a wonderful writer fully coming into his gifts and sharing them with the world.

    • Stevie Dowler says:

      Donald Miller peeled his cards away from his chest and revealed what true intimacy is, and why we need it. 'Scary Close' is peppered with good-humored stories as well as stories I could never imagine putting in a book. 'Scary Close' has forever changed the way I view relationships.

    • MikeTannian says:

      One of my favorites by Donald Miller. The second half is especially good. In his typical fashion, he writes a book that feels more like a conversation with a good friend. This book was relatable and made me feel like I wasn't alone.

    • Meg says:

      Donald Miller has a unique way of speaking to the heart of any particular season I'm in whenever I pick up any one of his books. He tells his story with such vulnerability that he gives you the courage and grace to dig deep into your own story and where you desire that story/relationships to go. It's hard to be truly known when we learn in childhood that we must mask our self and shame with whatever we believe will make us truly lovable. However, if we can't learn to accept our imperfections wit [...]

    • Chase Tremaine says:

      While the writing style of this book was enjoyably plain yet engagingly easy-to-read, the topics and ideas of this book are from lighthearted or simple. In Scary Close, Donald Miller digs into some of the ugliest parts of his own story in order to display widespread problems that we humans have in being honest, vulnerable, and intimate. A story or insight or aside from every chapter would slap me across the face as something I need to learn in my own life and dealings with people. There's profun [...]

    • Taylor Johnson says:

      A guy who used to have major relationship issues walks you through the process of growing out of them. The book is almost just a collection of all the best advice Miller got from people wiser and farther along in the “relationship journey.” His prose isn’t all that engaging or impressive but he’s got some incredible quotes throughout that keep you going, hoping that there’s going to be another inspiring line somewhere in the chapter.I don’t want to under sell the book. If someone had [...]

    • Luke says:

      This is the best book on relationships and intimacy I have ever read. There is so much beauty in Miller's brutal honesty in finding intimacy within both friendships and romantic settings. So many times, as I read Miller's heart, thoughts, and struggles in relationships, I felt as though I was looking in a mirror. Donald Miller is good at relationships, and he got to be that way through blood, sweat, and tears that he vividly portrays within his journey of dropping facades and simply being real w [...]

    • Holly Salas says:

      Really enjoyed this quick and honest read. Written from Donald Miller's personal perspective, he truthfully and openly shares his experience dealing with self image, projection, and how it affects relationships with ourselves and others. This book reaffirms what we already know about ourselves in a way that is easy to relate to and digest. After reading, I left this book with positive feelings about how to address issues of self doubt and mediocrity to improve my life experience.

    • Anna says:

      This book read like a long letter from a friend. Not new thoughts - it’s essentially about the importance of vulnerability in relationships. But it was beautiful to see those revelations played out in another particular life of a person who decided to write about it.

    • Ally says:

      Don Miller's book was really good - his central idea is that intimacy is achieved when you are yourself, not trying to put on a show or impress people. Told in a simply written, straightforward and personal story, Don discussed his relationship with his girlfriend-->fiance-->wife Betsy and how he learned to grow closer to her.

    • Devynne Hadley says:

      Such a great book. 10/10 would recommend

    • Daniel Hendon says:

      Donald Miller is brutally honest about his own life in a way that lowers our walls so we can see ourselves clearly. This book helped me realize that I have been "keeping score" in my marriage and that that is a form of manipulation.

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